Speaking of Kelly Clarkson

I've done the research and as much as I resisted liking her, I have been unable to find one person who doesn't tap their foot or do a little head bob to Kelly Clarkson's song "Since You've Been Gone". Recently her new song was featured on a catchy Camry commercial and I thought it might be a good one to add to my workout music so I bought it. It's called "Stronger". It's another one of those survivor sort of songs about how that which doesn't kill us makes us stronger. God, there's a list of those I bet, starting with "I Will Survive" (was there anything better for a breakup?), "I'm a Survivor" (Destiny's Child), Kanye's "Stronger" (longer, better, faster), you know the ones. Hers appears to be about yet another breakup, but I'm only focusing on the part about adversity and strength.

This sort of thinking fascinates me because in my experience that which doesn't kill us just makes us really tired and whiny and self-absorbed. So I wanted to look at that in the light for a minute and determine what camp I'm gonna fall in here. It's not been a secret that 2011 wasn't a good year for me. Beyond the staph infection to round out the year, there was the total home renovation (which turned out beyond lovely, but exhausted us), some bigger ups and downs with the kids, getting ROOFIED (I KNOW, WHATTT???). And I'm just hitting the highlights there. 2011 is so dead to me.

Anyway, I remember at a low point in my life years ago that a counselor said the failures and disappointments I had suffered earlier didn't prove I was weak, but quite the opposite. Being able to endure those difficulties actually pointed to how strong I was. A weak person couldn't have continued to put one foot in front of the other. And as strong as your friends and family can be for you, there are some things that you do alone.

Sometimes when I need to feel sorry for myself, I listen to that REM song, "Everybody Hurts" (I do pitiful well). And even though it's corny, then I imagine myself running and falling and getting up again to keep stumbling ahead, maybe a little wobbly and skinned, but more determined and still moving forward. Eventually, I pick up the pace and laugh because I finally remember my progress has never been up to the circumstances, the sucker punch, the uncertain friendship or the staph infection. It's always only been up to me and embracing that is when I feel strongest and best. So mark the date, because as cliche as it is, I'm gonna have to align myself with American Idol star Kelly Clarkson this time. "What doesn't kill you makes a fighter, footsteps even lighter..."