Things I Probably Missed

Usually about twice a year I see an article entitled something like "Top 20 Things You Must Teach your Children if You Value Their Futures At All" which usually, after I read it, could be retitled "Oh Crap, I Forgot to Teach My Kid These 20 Things." I'm as stunned now (she's 12) about how little I know about child rearing as I was when she was 2 weeks old.  Maybe you don't panic, but articles like that, and the frequency with which I see them makes me think we moms (I say "moms" but I think I have 2 dads who read this so we'll expand that to say "parents") really, really want just some straight up advice on how not to screw everything up for the kids.

Considering that made me think I should organize my thoughts about the lessons I want Olivia to have absorbed by the time she flips me the bird and grabs hold of her motorcycling boyfriend's tattooed back as she heads out into the world. So here goes:

20 Things That May or May Not Help You Live Well 

• Love who you love. Never be embarrassed by sincere affection even if it puts you at odds with others. I was never more proud of you than the first time you said, "I don't care what they think."

• Always trust your gut.  If that means you need to escape through a bathroom window, then shimmy on through it.

• Moisturize.

• You have witnessed miles and miles of real love in our household.  Measure your relationships against the kindness you have seen and make sure your mate likes to make you laugh as much as Daddy does.

• Allow yourself to be nervous about the things you are afraid to try and then buck up and do them anyway. Living a life of fear is a horrible prison sentence.

• Don't show your boobies in pictures.

• Use your legs. Get away from people who treat you cruelly. Never, ever involve yourself with someone who calls you names (they cannot be healed). This is the sole reason I taught you to say on your playhouse porch, "GET OFF MY PROPERTY."

• Be grateful.  If it's only for the fact that you are breathing, be grateful.  

• Forgive yourself so that you don't live with regret. Forgive other people so you don't live with resentment.

• Never put yourself in a position of total dependence.  You are capable of taking care of yourself and while earning money doesn't guarantee happiness, it may provide you with options.

• No booby pictures.

• Be assured that if you rest, eat for nourishment, breathe in the sunshine, and exercise, your body is exactly the way it should be. 

• Be the kind of friend who listens. If you will invest in that, you will never be lonesome.  

• Read. Read A LOT.

• Whether you find nourishment in the Bible or in Buddha, open your heart and mind to pursuing a spiritual understanding of the world. Please just avoid any creepy alien religions or churches that require all of your money.

• All work can be fulfilling if you can do it with a glad heart.

• And don't take pictures of your boobies.

• Count on being wrong a lot. The world is too big for you to know all of it and anyway no one likes a know-it-all.

• Whether it's a career, an act of kindness or a painting, make it your plan to contribute something often to the world.

• And for God's sake, don't take booby pictures.

I think that's a start.  I left out the ones about internet scams, graduate school and calling me every Sunday.  There's a lot I could say about honesty and authentic living, but I think a lot of that comes with accomplishing some of the others.  To be frank, just writing this overwhelmed me.  I'm already panicked that I forgot 20 more things I should have included.  If you get a chance, let me know ones I've missed? I'd really like that.

L