Get the flowers

Well thank goodness that's over. Valentine's Day is perhaps the most highly competitive holiday we observe.  Christopher called me yesterday saying how much he hates that holiday. He says it's like some competition among girls. To which I responded, "Hell yes it's a competition and you'd better WIN."  He had asked the day before if he should get his new girlfriend flowers.  I quickly responded with, "YES YES YES. I know she probably said she doesn't care for flowers, but that's so that she can appear low maintenance and you have to get them anyway to show that you have a romantic side.  GET THE FLOWERS."  I sent him the florist's number in his area.  It's a game worth playing.

Judging by the number of pictures of flowers and candy and professions of love on Facebook yesterday I think we have all the evidence we need to support our theory that Valentine's Day is indeed a competitive holiday. And I'm sorry guys, but this holiday is not about celebrating you. It only involves you because you are responsible for all the work. Valentine's Day is for the girls. I went all low maintenance for several years, but I like a little romance and it became important to me also for Olivia to see the men in her life take Valentine's Day as an opportunity to show their affection for us. Kenny and Christopher set the tone for how men will treat her later when she makes actual choices about boyfriends and spouses. Fortunately, they are both capable of gushy professions of love.  I heard her on the phone saying, "No. I love you more, Brother." To which I know he responded with his usual, "Not possible."  Our house was filled with flowers and cards and presents that indicate that Kenny knows what the girls in his house like - I got a new jewelry box and Olivia got a new shotgun.

Valentine's Day is ridiculous, of course, but it's like the county fair or Gatlinburg.  Just quit whining and get on board with the jug blowing dancing bears and flapjacks so you can have some fun. It's not like there isn't a payoff.  I told Christopher he could at least answer every question or end every statement with the word, "Valentine" when he was out on his date.  "Would you like something to drink, Valentine?  Let me get that door for you, Valentine. Good night, Valentine."  She will either think he is precious or hit him to get him to stop.   Definitive either way.

I guess we could talk for days about how women and men miscommunicate about what we want from one another, but for today let's just all acknowledge that it's not a bad idea to do whatever it takes to get a smooch from your Valentine.  Flowers are a good place to start.