Did I ever tell you about the time I was in the circus?

Isn't that a great way to start a story? In this case, it's TRUE. My sister will totally back me up on this. Anyway, several years ago Mel and I decided to take the girls (our daughters are only months apart)to the BIG circus at Phillips Arena. They'd never been and here's how excited they were:

See, when your dad is a minister you pretty much get to go to the circus whenever some group needs a bus driver (do ministers have some kind of CDL license requirement?) and in our case as children that meant riding along with the institutionalized folks from the hospital (I'm so not kidding). That sort of thing might seem strange to you, but I don't remember us ever thinking anything was out of order. Still, Melanie and I were excited to experience the circus the way we imagined other folks did when we bought our tickets.

Let me pause here and tell you that I'm afraid of more things than you might imagine. I've never been accused of being a risk taker. I hold my breath and walk very quickly across storm drains and I don't even voluntarily ride roller coasters so I'm not the person out looking for many daredevil sorts of adventures, but I CAN say that I won't skip something that happens to come my way at least. I can take the deep breath and jump if it comes to that.

I wore a really loud, flowered jacket to this event because it did look like it belonged in a circus, but I didn't really think it would give me any leverage when they started calling for audience volunteers. You should know that one thing that doesn't frighten me is the thought of being in front of thousands of people. I thought, WHAT IF THIS IS MY ONLY CHANCE TO EVER BE IN THE CIRCUS??? Really, how many chances would a girl get? This thought so compelled me that I jumped to my feet and waved my arms and hoped my crazy circus jacket would work some crazy circus magic. I'm not sure, but I probably also yelled something like PICK ME PICK ME PICK ME much like an obnoxious kid at the magic show.

I think it was the coat because I GOT PICKED! I thought my sister would choke on our cotton candy, but she did the only sensible thing and called Kenny (she calls people when she's excited) and started snapping pictures. I'm sure the conversation went something like this:
Kenny: Hello?
Mel: OH MY GOD KENNY SHE'S GONE AND LANDED HER ASS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CIRCUS!
Kenny: Who is this?
Mel: It's MELANIE. NEVERMIND KENNY. IT'S LORI. SHE'S IN THE CENTER RING.
Kenny: Wait. What? Do you need me to come get y'all? Has she been arrested?
Mel: No, she's just got this crazy coat on and they've asked her to be in
some clown thing.
Kenny: Did she sign anything? Has she ACTUALLY JOINED THE CIRCUS?
Mel: It's ok. I'll send you pictures. I gotta go call mom.


Don't worry. I called him later.

Now when you get called to be in the circus, you might think you get to do something like this:



But I didn't. I wish I'd gotten to ride an elephant or jump off something or even do the trapeze just once (with the net of course), but it was just a little clown skit and it was very brief, but it is now FACT that for a few minutes in 2005 your friend Lori WAS in the CENTER RING of the Ringling Brothers, Barnum and Bailey Circus at Phillips Arena.

It was loud and bright and completely ridiculous AND IT WAS DAMN MAGNIFICENT. I will let you borrow my circus coat if you ever need some circus magic.